I wrote this a few years ago, back when Blaster was still a big threat and so was Stubby. As those names have faded into the background, it was time to do some minor updating of this tongue-in-cheek look at the life of a tech at Christmastime. Enjoy.
The week before Christmas
And all through the town
The people were shopping
and making a row
Technicians were snoozing
All tucked in their desks
With visions of viruses
Zipping round in their heads
The phones were all quiet
Sales were slow
Till one day a client
Showed up at their door
His face was all red
His hands wet and clammy
“I just fought with pop-ups,
Now running from Zeroday!”
I woke from my slumber
and reached for his bag
What should I find?
But Compaq inside!
I groaned as I placed the machine by the tree
This would be the last time I worked Christmas Eve.
First I cleaned temp files
Then I cleaned malware
Then I found out what was really the matter.
Kazaa was wide open
Downloading all night
Spybot found spyware
No end seemed in sight
I uninstalled Norton
Incredimail too.
As I turned to the client.
I knew what to do.
With firewall blocking
And AVG scanning,
I gave him his laptop
and a tissue for crying.
As I showed him the door,
I said, “Please watch your surfing”
He said, Merry Christmas!
And went away sniffing.
I settled back at my desk
To await Christmas Day
This time thankful for silence
Wishing it’d stay.
By Marilynn Dawson – edited December 16th, 2014
